Humility

Life is funny this way. Just when you feel you are doing well enough or excelling something in another area tends to drop off or go wrong. Now, i like to think I am a humble person for the most part. I dont look at myself and think, "Damn, what a guy." or anything like that.

I actually put alot of pressure on myself to always be better. To always go beyond a goal to whats past it. THis tends to affect my life in a couple ways. First, i am never satisfied or content. Case in point, Story Number 1.

When I was young, i played hockey. I was pretty ok at it and my dad was one of my bigest fans. He bought this real fancy cigar for me and said this is what we will smoke when you get drafted.......Well, needless to say i never got drafted but we made another deal. That would be the cigar we smoke when I graduated prep school. The time came and I felt it wasnt a good enough occasion. So, i made a deal that when I graduated college id smoke that cigar........The time came and like the previous time I didnt think it was momentus enough. This went on for the next 8 years. When i get my first job. When i get my first promotion. When I beat all sales for the team i worked for. When I opened my nutrition store. When we had our first great day. When we broke our own sales record. When we made it over a year in this economy........Nothing was good enough. That cigar still sits in my humador, ive smoked many cigars in the last 17 years but never that one.

This mentality has affected relationships as well. Never in a truly good way. I never project my ways on anyone yet my personality and mindset is so strong it tends to be hard on some people ive dated. Ive been told im selfish, i am too driven, too singleminded, i work too hard. Ive never thought working too hard and being committed to something was bad until recently.

Yet another thing to keep me humble are in fact those women. I have many women in my life who i would charactorize as inspirational. Others tend to attempt to play games, and others are more just not happy with themselves which leads to bad vibes. Currently i am in fact not "with" anyone. Yet there are humbling experiences that have led me to expel someone from my life, another that makes me constantly think about if I am good enough, and another who can evoke so much anger and so much happiness all at once. It is amazing to me.

Keeping my mind straight use to be an issue but one thing i have worked to focus on is the positive aspects of life. I love my job, I have a support system of people in place whom i love and care about, and recently have learned to just allow the things that matter affect me and nothing else. Its a matter of choice. I choose to smile and be happy. I choose to keep or remove people from my life. Life is way too short to waste on people who are jealous, who hate for no reason, who dont like how you look, act, etc. Use your positive influence to build your circle then you have all you need.